You know you grew up in the 80s if you...
1. Got Cool Ranch Doritos and other weird-flavored salty snacks in your lunch box
Honorable mention to Combos pizza-flavored processed cheese stuffed pretzels as 80s vintage food. The commercial always said that it 'cheeses your hunger away.' I'm not sure if cheese is a verb but even as a relatively piggy kid, I admit that the salt/fat bomb of pretzels, cheese, and pepperoni pizza 'flavoring' was pretty satisfying.
|When was the last time you ate these?|
2. Thought sprinkles were a food group
Ah, the 80s...exotic ice cream flavors were for the adults and most kid's ice cream was some combination of chocolate and vanilla and the occasional artificial strawberry. And no one was making frozen yogurt smoothies with green tea and fruit...instead we ate ice cream sandwiches, Chipwiches, Good Humor Bars, Carvel frozen custard with chocolate sprinkles and ice cream cakes with crunchies wedged in them. The whole point was that the ice cream LOOKED cool, like a toy. Which was almost as cool as getting a toy with your food, like you did at McDonald's
|The symmetry is breath-taking|
Of course, the very best was to get ice cream AT McDonald's with a toy. I remember the comedian Margaret Cho doing a routine which contained the line: "you know you have an eating disorder if you order DESSERT at McDonald's." Well, then all of us did in the 80s!
3. Thought McDonald's was kinda a health food
Well, they did sponsor the Olympics and had those cool games in which you could win prizes! Also, my elementary school allowed us to order in McDonald's once a week, so it couldn't be that bad. Heck, we all went to McDonald's after athletic events and EVERYONE ate it--yes, all of the skinny kids, and there were no 'healthy' sliced apple choices, either.
At school, I usually got Chicken McNuggets and was always comforted in my darkest hours as a schoolroom outcast by the fact that the nuggets always had the same, predictable shapes. My favorite was the one shaped like the boot of Italy.
|I actually thought I was the only person who noticed this and then I encountered the Internet.|
|Wish I'd saved these! As durable and colorful as one of the hamburger patties!|
Pizza party! No need to justify it with salad!
|It's totally okay to reward kids with food for reading and stuff!|
5. Ate brown sugar and s'mores-flavored Pop Tarts
|No frosting? How austere!|
6. Your parents gave you Fruit-Roll Ups and Quaker Granola Bars as healthy snacks
|They came in a multi-flavored box and I always ate the chocolate first.|
7. Ate cereal that came with prizes...and poured whole milk on it...
|For extra credit, name the cereals|
I was never that into drinking straight-up milk,even as a kid, but I know some kids would use a bendy straw to slurp up the sugar-sweetened milk.
Once, at a British bed-and-breakfast, I was served corn flakes. I had only recently arrived in the UK and I wondered: "what is it about these simple corn flakes that tastes so delicious?" Then I realized it was the whole milk...which I hadn't had since I was nine.
I now forgo cereal entirely but have abandoned skim milk.
8. Ate lots of peanut butter
9. Baked using this. And you ALWAYS made a golden cake with milk chocolate frosting, never chocolate with white frosting or chocolate frosting
|I didn't even know you could buy flour as a kid!|
10. Found that despite eating all of this crap, on the whole most of you and your friends were thinner than kids today
Much like the French Paradox, the 80s Paradox continues to be a subject of debate amongst parents and dieticians alike.