|Image credit: Netrition|
Whole wheat bread has fiber. Peanut butter has fiber. Fruit has fiber. Lettuce and tomato possess fiber. Many potential components of a healthy breakfast or lunch contain fiber. If your fiber intake is so low you need to insert fiber into your JELLY, you are probably living on white bread and jam. In which case, you should re-read Bread and Jam for Frances, because that book has an important message for you.
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I hate to say it, but if you are buying your kid these types of cereals, you're probably turning on the TV as a babysitter while you drink in the bedroom. Or you have a problem with sugar yourself. Why not just be honest and give him a pack of Reese's peanut butter cups and a glass of chocolate milk for breakfast, send him off, and let his teacher deal with him?
|Image credit: The Impulsive Buy|
One of the ingredients on the label is anchovy. You seriously hate fish that much and are that neurotic about balancing your omega-6s with your omega-3s? Let me guess--you read a lot of articles on nutrition on the Internet and eat lots of protein bars but real food kinda scares you.
|Image credit: Aunt Jemima|
Scratch pancakes can be made from butter, sugar, flour, milk, eggs, and baking powder. That's seven ingredients you probably have in your pantry right now. Okay, growing up my mom totally cheated and used Politically Incorrect Pancake Mix. Okay, famed restauranteur Kenny Shopsin uses Aunt Jemima pancake batter at his restaurant and says making good pancakes is all in the technique, not the quality of the batter. But still--you can't throw in some melted butter or oil and an egg into a standard mix? Why is this necessary? The label: "A good source of Calcium & Iron" is a nice touch.
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Proof that the food industry can target all demographic groups, including anorexics.
|Image credit: General Mills|
Hello? The point of croissants is that they contain fat. Croissants are, in effect, fat delivery systems in pastry form. It's not even like a brownie, where you can amp up the chocolatey component if you reduce the fat a little bit. If this is in your freezer, you probably eat a lot of egg whites, turkey bacon, Lean Cuisines, and other 80s retro food. The acid-wash jeans still don't look good, no matter what Urban Outfitter says.
|Image credit: Unilever|
I Can't Top Anthony Bourdain's witty comment in Kitchen Confidential to this product: "I can." However, I Can't Express how much the grammarian in me hates the name of the product, as well as the fact that the substance itself tastes frighteningly similar to the plastic container in which it comes encased. My jeans aren't called 'I Can't Believe These Aren't Lucky.' My car isn't branded 'I Can't Believe This Isn't a Lexus.' Clearly, the marketing whizzes who designed this product Could Believe The American Public Was Pretty Gullible (and irrationally afraid of fat). Extra bonus points for advertising its 'whipped and creamy taste.' 'Whipped' is a description and 'creamy' is a texture, not a taste.