Crumbled onto salads: You withhold. You think crumbled bacon on a wilted spinach salad is enough--but it's not. You think of yourself as generous and always putting others first but your significant other finds you cold and aloof. He wonders 'what am I doing wrong,' but in this instance, it's not him, it's you. You cook him a perfectly nice meal that you saw Ina Garten make on TV, but what he really wants is to order in the meat lover's pizza from the local Italian joint and to make hot passionate love to you on the sofa while watching the football game.
On BLTs: You're very good about rationing out your pleasures to yourself. You actually like the sanctimonious crunch of the iceberg lettuce against the fat of the bacon, and the icy, healthy sweetness of the tomato. You wear classic clothing and don't mind getting gift certificates at Talbots. You eat half the sandwich and put the rest in the refrigerator for latter.
In soup: You're a giver. You care. You want to feed everyone. You make healthy soup but like the smoky notes the bacon brings to the vegetables and to the leaner cuts of meat like chicken--and ham. You also make decadent chili with crumbled bacon on top. But you mostly eat standing at the kitchen counter after everyone has finished, sipping the residue from everyone's wine glasses and eating the leftover crackers and cheese from the appetizer plate.
On burgers: You're not much of a sweets person, but you do love your bacon blue cheese burgers. You could out-drink most of your male friends in college even though you were pretty tiny back then. You don't remember much of what happened during those years, though, except for the credit card bills your ran up. You are a 'more is better' kind of a person. Everyone generally likes you and loves when you make your bacon burgers for your summer barbeques.
With chocolate or in desserts: You get really upset about people who talk about healthy eating and you say things like "love yourself just like you are." Then you go on crash diets and promptly gain the weight back, eat lots of chocolate and bacon, and the cycle repeats itself. Get over it and restore bacon to its rightful place with things like cheese, eggs, and peanut butter (and not all at once).
Soy bacon: While processed vegetarian chicken patties taste pretty much like regular processed chicken patties and some vegetarian burgers are good, everyone knows that soy bacon is disgusting. If you eat this stuff, you're really hardcore and trying to prove a point. Even some vegetarians put bacon on their vegan burgers, this stuff is so bad.