Monday, January 23, 2012

Sh*t Food Bloggers Say

1. I have a recipe to post, but the lighting is so crappy today, I can't take a good photograph.  It will be up by Wednesday. (This is the truth).
Flickr: Melody Kramer

2. I'm so glad you liked the Three Musketeers Cupcakes!  When am I going to make them again?  Probably never, because I need to make new recipes for my blog.
Flickr: Cupcakes Take the Cake

3. I know you'd really love a steak, mashed potatoes, and some plain spinach for your birthday, but that's not really much of a recipe, is it?  How can I post that on my blog?


4. Yes, I know everyone loves turkey at Thanksgiving, but it's so BROWN. Brown food does NOT photograph well.  I think I'll just bake some pies, cakes, and cookies instead.  They get more pageviews.
Flickr: altopower

5. I can't believe you made a CHEESECAKE and didn't photograph it for your blog! Wait--you DON'T have a FOOD BLOG and you COOK? WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT?
Flickr: gnuf
6. Speaking of which, don't you DARE eat those Girl Scout cookies--I need to use them to make my own cheesecake crust, so I can blog about it.

Flickr: Tristen.Pelton
7. Wait!  Don't eat that--I NEED A PHOTOGRAPH FOR MY BLOG!
8. Did you like that butternut squash bread?  If you want the recipe, check out my blog...
9. How many pageviews did that recipe get?
10. You won't mind if I annoy you incessantly on Facebook to vote for MY BLOG in incredibly obscure Internet contests, will you?
11. She just started a food blog?  Who does she think she is?  It's not like EVERYONE can write a food blog . [N.B.: Actually, the beautiful thing about the Internet is that everyone can start a blog about anything they want, without being censored by some self-appointed Food Editing Police.]
12. It's not like she's been on Tastepotting, or anything.
13. Tastespotting is so over.  What really matters is how many times you've been pinned on Pinterest.
14. Do you 'do' Tuesdays with Dorie?
15. I don't buy takeout.  I don't want to waste a meal when I can make something to blog about instead.
16. I really feel like a salad today, but they don't get many pageviews.
Flick: Old Shoe Woman

17. I blog about chocolate and cheese, but I really eat plain roast chicken and cauliflower most of the time.
18. I wish I had more friends for whom I could make food to blog about.
19. I've considered tying bacon on my dog and taking a picture, just to get more traffic.
Flickr: Marshall Astor

20. Now that you read my blog, I'm going to nag you incessantly to donate to my blog and try to make you feel really guilty, so I can buy expensive kitchen appliances.
21. Every now and then, I'm going to post some really annoying article only of interest to fellow food bloggers like myself.  (Kind of like this post).
22. It's the lighting, not the recipe (see item number one on this list).
23. It doesn't look like much, but it REALLY tasted good.
24. If you give me a free sample of your questionable processed ingredient, I'll review it on my blog.
25. Want to READ MY BLOG?
26. I know, I should have stopped at number 25, because it's kind of a nice number to stop at, but I can't help adding--DO YOU WANT TO READ MY BLOG?


  1. I want to start one of those 365 breakfast photo blogs. I always eat the same breakfast, but I want to see how many people I can get to look at a picture of oatmeal every day.

  2. @flurrious--you should do that! That would be SO Andy Warhol! I ate oatmeal every day for a period of 4 years, but I am out of my oatmeal period. Kind of like Picasso moving from his blue to his rose period...

  3. I am already guilty of a version of #19- except that it was tofurky and my dog wasn't wearing it. And I'm also guilty of another food blogger vanity- putting the food in one dish for myself to eat and then "plating" as a verb in a smaller portion and fancier dish.

  4. @MD--using dogs is okay, but the near obligatory 'bacon on everything recipe' once a week is shameless! (Not that I haven't done most of the shameful things on this list, except, perhaps for the bacon).